Want to date my son…

Come on, hasn’t someone set you up?

Fresh off an airplane from boarding school, my Father announces that they were having a big reception the following night. It was a farewell for a colleague. I was to put on a dress, and say hello for 10 minutes. I didn’t mind, the reception usually meant I got to pig out on some tasty treats after my 10 minutes!

As I stood beside my Father at the entrance, shaking hands, and being introduced to who know “what’s her name, and sir spits a lot.” I was pulled aside by “dress is painted on” She began to ask me hilarious questions about my GPA, and if I had a boyfriend.

After 5 minutes, I attempted to excuse myself from the uncomfortable conversation, I had food to eat. Her dress is painted on, grabbed my arm showing off her manicured red nails. She said in a low voice “you are perfect”

I stood trying not to laugh.

She then proceeded “You are perfect for my son.”

Sirens were ringing in my ear, I began to look for a quick exit, but there wasn’t one.

she kept going “He is a gem, so nice, and handsome, you would be perfect to help him.”

Red flags were swirling around, waving around in my head – HELP HIM, oh jeez. There was still no exit.

She leaned in “He just got out of drug rehab, nothing serious, just a little cocaine habit he picked up. He is absolutely perfect, and could be put on the right track. He is just a little older than you, but you would get along so well.”

My mouth hung to the floor, as her words kept flashing in my head “little cocaine habit.” – how does one have a little habit if they have been in rehab. I wasn’t sure how to respond, I just stood there a little shocked. Our butler, Pedro, must have seen how uncomfortable I was, he ran over and told me that he needed my help getting my Father’s attention.

I excused myself from “her dress is painted on” as politely as I could, and followed Pedro. As I reached the kitchen, I gave Pedro a big hug, he winked at me and said something about the lady being completely “Loca” – I couldn’t have agreed more.

I escaped and went upstairs with my plate of goodies, I sat on the sofa, and curled up with our dog and watched a badly dubbed movie in Spanish.

The next day, I woke up to my Father nudging me “ah, sweetie, is there a reason why “her dress is painted on”, is calling to set up a date with her son?”

Confused and groggy. I looked up and said “I haven’t agreed to anything, he just got out of rehab, the guy sounds like he still needs help, or maybe she needs help.”

My Father disappeared, and came back 10 minutes later. He came to tell me that he told her I was not allowed to date until I was 18 (not true, but it worked). Turns out, that her son was 25, had dropped out of highschool, and came from a rediculously wealthy family that funded more than just a cocaine problem. I felt sad for him, but was slightly disturbed that his crazy Mother was trying to set him up with a 17 year old.

Has anyone tried to set you up?

Dip Kid

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