The Airplane Lapdance

At one point, I was traveling once a month, and it was not exactly enjoyable. You usually miss 2 weekends, you don’t get paid to travel, it is just part of your job.

I sat down in my usual seat to head to Paris. A very nice young French guy sat next to me. I was relieved he wasn’t a chatty Cathy, cause I always want to sleep. No, it was not business class, but I was relieved it was the bulkhead window seat, and only one seat next to me in economy class. I had already sat down, and had settled in, one of the flight attendants already knew me, and came by to give me an orange juice.

The gentleman next to me, was a very tall, and turned out, a lovely man, but his legs went on for miles, which is why he chose the bulkhead aisle seat. As we got to chatting, it turned out, he and his girlfriend lived close to the hotel I stayed in. We spoke in a mix of French and English. After dinner, we both put on headphones and watched a movie to fall asleep to. He stretched out his legs, and promptly fell asleep. I one the other hand, was wide awake. As my seat neighbour snored, I had a bladder that was about to burst. I had no choice but to get up, and go. I had just enough room to get over his legs to get to the aisle without disturbing him, I just had to figure out, do I quietly straddle his legs with my rear facing him, or my breast. The things you contemplate.

I chose to just hop across his legs with my rear facing him. I figured it would be less embarrassing. I got over, no problem, went to the bathroom. Then went to the back to get a snack. The flight attendant was so lovely, she gave me ice cream and cookies from business class.

As I arrive to my seat, I once again had to figure out how to quietly straddle my seat mate once again, without touching him, or disturbing him. This time, I had to face him, as I wanted to hold onto the wall. Just as I had gotten one leg over him, the plane bounced around, and so did I. Bouncing right into my seat mate, and landing on his knees. I was stunned, I had managed to save the ice cream and cookies, but my seat mate startled awake, looked at me and said “mademoiselle, I had no idea we had entered this phase of our friendship!” and with that he winked and laughed. Meanwhile I had turned a deep shade of scarlet, as I laughed with embarrassment.

He was a terrific sport about it, and when we landed, he insisted we go to a place in his neighbourhood to have breakfast with his girlfriend. After getting over the embarrassment, it turned out, his girlfriend had a terrific sense of humour and commented it wasn’t everyday her boyfriend brought home another woman that straddled him!

Yikes.

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