left out

2 years of my life, 2 years pretending I liked being there, 2 years pretending that my very WASP looking exterior fit into this WASP school. I tried, I tried with every ounce of my fibre. It was all coming to a close. I had tried to become the person the school wanted me to be, but it was no use. I was who I was. I felt more comfortable in my international world, among other languages, in big cities, in politics.

I sat there in uniform, waiting for my turn. I was finally going to move on, my family looking on. I just wanted my degree, and get the family reunion over with.

Then it started, the awards. Awards that all the teachers had voted on, to be handed out to the seniors. With every name being called, I looked around. One by one, senior’s were walking up to receive awards like “most trusted leader” etc. one by one, some went up several times. With every name called up, I looked around, to a select few of us, those that were sent here from Hong Kong, those of us who were not A+ students, those of us who didn’t fit in.

As the awards came to a close, I noticed, 6 of us, left out. Some had their heads down, some of us cracked a joke, including me, but all in all, it stung. Never in any school had I attended, did I ever get blatantly told, without being told, that I didn’t belong. In International schools, they never ever left anyone out, they gave an award to every single graduate.

The 6 of us never talked about it. I am not sure it stayed with them the way it stayed with me.

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