Superman

heart

Every time I watch you hold his hand, my heart grows 5x. I never doubted for a second, you were always going to be an incredible Father.

The day I found out I was pregnant, I took 5 tests, you called, and I cried out that I was pregnant. I was in disbelief. You somehow got home in seconds, a huge smile on your face, and cried out “Hi Mummy!”. I burst into tears and pointed to the bathroom, still shaking from it all. You looked down at all those pregnancy tests and said “it is safe to say we are pregnant, not sure why you needed to spend $100 on all these tests!”

That night, as I lay uncertain, you hugged my belly and somehow I knew everything was going to be alright.

The first couple of ultrasounds were scary, we knew we were high risk, but you stayed positive, and eased my worries. You went out of your way to search for odd dumplings, and chocolate covered raisins.

The night I went into labour, you stood by me, stroking my hair, telling me I was awesome and I was doing so well. I couldn’t believe how much I lucked out. I was giving birth to a miracle that we created. A miracle we thought we wouldn’t have.

The days following, I attempted to nurse our baby, I cried and wanted to give up, you cheered me on, and kept telling me you knew I could do it. Because of you, I never gave up, and I ended nursing for 9 whole months before my milk began to vanish While I mourned my depleting milk, you turned it around and told me how proud you were of me.

The day I went into the hospital with a 3 week old for my D&C, you held our son, told me you loved me, and that we would see each other in 15 minutes. I smiled, I never expected that I almost missed that smile. When I woke up in complete pain, losing blood, you never wavered, you never let me lose faith that I wouldn’t come out of this. You told me that you would take care of me. You did. You and our little 3 week old were the first faces I would see again, you were scared, tear-stained, but your smile lit my insides, and I knew I had to fight and hold on.

For weeks, you cradled our little boy at night, he would cry for food, you would get up, get him, and bring him to me to feed. Any time my strength wasn’t with me, you picked up the pieces. Sometimes you would have barely had 3 hours sleep, but you would get up, get dressed and go to work. You would call, worried that I didn’t eat enough, that I wasn’t getting enough air, or working on my exercises to get my strength back. You were always there, even through my darkest days of finding out I could no longer carry another child.

The moment you picked up our son, cradling his 5 year old feverish son, he threw up on 2x, you didn’t even move, as he cried, you consoled him, not worrying about the smell, or the throw up that was running down your shirt. It was at that moment, I hadn’t stopped to tell you, just how incredible you are, and just how lucky I feel to share this crazy life adventure with you. While other Mums and wives complain about their husbands, I can’t recall that I have ever complained, I have always felt an immense gratitude that the universe made our paths cross, and that you chose me.

I love you with all of my heart.

 

 

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